This makes me feel better. At least I can know, even if I’m not chillin’ on a plane sippin’ cognac with Rihanna, at LEAST I DON’T HAVE SEVERAL HUMAN CENTIPEDE TATTOOS ON MY ASS. In case you’ve been living under a rock, Human Centipede is the 2009 film about a mad scientist who sutures three […]
The weekend is nearly upon us, which means we will all inevitably be warming up our seduction faces in the mirror and hitting the gym for an extra 12 minutes to try and fit into our skinny jeans. As you gear up to hit the clubs, though, it’s important to ask yourself if it’s the […]
In case you needed another reason to L-O-V-E Rihanna (other than this of course), here she is allowing 250 (!) journalists and fans to join her aboard a privately chartered Boeing 777 for a 7 day, 7 country, 7 concert mini-tour, aptly named the #777tour. While aboard the plane, said lucky mother f***ers have been […]
In life, we’re usually faced with boring, annoying, or sad decisions. Like, “Cheerios or Chex?” or “silence in the car or Linkin Park?” or “do I put my dog down or pay the $4,000 for a surgery that will probably only keep him alive a couple more years?” (answers: Cheerios, silence, $4,000 on your credit […]
Less than 36 hours till the weekend, guys. Get up off the floor and let’s do this day. Hang in there. You can do it. I believe in you.
A couple weeks ago, I said I wasn’t going to give Mila Kunis the Hump Day Hottie Award, despite her being chosen as Esquire’s Sexiest Woman Alive, because I wasn’t willing to give someone the award twice when there are so many sexy ladies out there who have yet to receive it once. You know, […]
Because I am not a 16 year old girl, I don’t understand the appeal of Justin Bieber. I’m sure I feel the same way my parents felt when I lusted after Jonathan Taylor Thomas when I was 12, which makes me feel really old and gross, but bottom line is: the Biebs is just not […]
There were a lot of people upset that Barack Obama won the election last week, thus ensuring another four years with a Democrat as Commander in Chief. Fine, whatever, it was expected. Especially for people who believe he is a Kenyan Muslim who wants to take away everyone’s guns and let men marry Popsicle sticks […]
Here we are. Another Tuesday, another worthless waste of 24 hours that is just the bridge day between Monday and Wednesday. The day that somehow suffers from middle child syndrome despite being the second of five days. A day that feels like one of those weird, shriveled baby carrots that always shows up in a […]
Everyone makes bad decisions sometimes. Sometimes they are just being a**holes (like getting your car towed because you parked in a handicap spot), but usually, peoples’ mistakes are just genuine accidents. Like signing up to win a car at a mall, or leaving your wallet somewhere, or asking a fat lady when her baby is […]
