One of my favorite things in the world (behind Trader Joe’s brand cheese curls, Avery White Rascal beer, and watching people trip over curbs) is showing up to a bar just before closing time, completely sober. It is one of the funniest things a person can witness, because you get to see human beings fall […]
It seems like centuries since 2011, official year of the public brawl. When young ladies and gentleman (I use those terms loosely) would take to the streets or the dining area of their local Denny’s to knock the ever living sh*t out of each other. These fights tended to go down in America’s great states […]
Did you know there was an NBA team called the Oklahoma City Thunder? Uh, this was news to me, considering the only teams whose games I’d ever seen were the Lakers, the Celtics, the Mavericks and the Heat. Maybe there was a team called the Nuggets? That could just be me thinking of my late […]
The movie that spawned a thousand drunken catchphrases, from “LOOK HOW GOOD I LOOK” to “you are a gentleman and a scholar,” to “my apartment smells of rich mahogany” is coming back at us in sequel form, and OH MY GOD I CAN’T WAIT. I don’t know about you, but Anchorman (along with several other […]
As many people are pointing out, it would be next to impossible to perform those kind of athletic dance moves and sing at the same time. I understand physics and biology, so yeah, I GET THAT. Doesn’t mean I’m not going to add it to my ever-growing List of Chris Brown F-Ups, duh. (See: this, […]
The internet has made me aware of many things. Like how to fix a vacuum when you’ve lost suction. And how La Malinche undoubtedly altered the course of history when she was brought on as a translator for Hernan Cortes. Also that certain people are turned on by the idea of dressing, acting, and being […]
It’s too early for this! It’s Monday! We’re all still rolling out of bed and trying to find a cab home getting coffee and an Eggo waffle! Why do these things have to pop up on my news feed before I’ve put my contacts in?!! Oh well. Time and weird racism stories wait for no […]
Question: what is the best gift a woman can give herself for her 40th birthday? Answer: POSING NAKED IN PLAYBOY, DUH. That’s exactly what Jenny McCarthy has decided to do, according to StarPulse.com. The 39-year-old, who turns the big 4-0 in November, will be featured in a pictorial for the July issue, alongside an “explosive” […]
As the last of the college students finish their finals, running on nothing but coffee fumes and Adderall, it looks as though it’s time to get back on our search for the Song of the Summer. This weekend, as nightclubs prep their vomit buckets and DJs set up their Macbooks, we’ve got a tune that […]
One of the most prevalent themes in porn these days is the idea of the “neglected housewife,” who hasn’t seen or been attended to by her husband in ages. She’s lonely, sad, and most of all, horny enough that a random untested and potentially homicidal plumber at the door is enough to rile up her […]
