People are always saying, “you can’t have too much of a good thing,” but that’s definitely not true because one time at my cousin’s Bar Mitzvah I ate like, 3 or so gallons of rainbow sherbet and I puked psychedelic vomit for at least 6 hours and wanted to die. So, by my powers of […]
If I were to think of the least sexual person on the face of the planet… the number one person that I would not like to picture naked in the throes of passion, the top human being in the world who I would rather gouge my eyes out than watch sweatily thrusting into a woman, […]
If anyone on this Earth says they’ve never said something they didn’t mean in a moment of anger, they are a big fat lying sack of lies. There are just some instances, where you are SO angry, and so full of rage, that the only thing you can think of to say is “YOU SHUT […]
According to a new study published at Science Daily, the reason your bad boy twin brother gets laid, and you don’t, may all be in the emotions. Based on study performed by the University of British Columbia, men who look happier are more likely to be seen only in a “friendly social” way, whereas […]
THIS MAKES SO MUCH SENSE. (Re: this, this, this, this, these things, and this. OH AND THIS.) I’m going to submit a bill to Congress lobbying for Florida to be unceremoniously chopped off from the edge of America and replaced with Costa Rica. Agree? Yes? Yes.
In the NBA’s biggest “whoops!” moment since Dennis Rodman went blond, Bulls point guard Derrick Rose is sticking his size 16 foot in his mouth after ESPN Magazine released an interview with him where they asked how big of a problem illegal enhancement is in the sport, to which he answered: “Seven. It’s huge and […]
You know how sometimes you’re on a plane, and you’re sitting next to an eighteen year old girl, and you’re like, ‘oh man, I really gotta pop one off right now or I won’t be able to enjoy this showing of Maid in Manhattan‘, so you pull out your penis on a crowded flight and […]
I don’t know if you heard the news, but Harold Camping, the wet toothpick who runs FamilyRadio, has said that the Rapture DID happen. It was just a “spiritual rapture,” and the true biz-nass is going down on October 21st, just like he said before. Good to know – at least we get to enjoy […]
I can’t believe we missed this yesterday! This last weekend was the season finale of Saturday Night Live, hosted by Justin Timberlake with musical guest Lady Gaga. Despite all the shows criticism in recent years, I have always found the show to be at least SOMEWHAT entertaining. I don’t think people realize that the cast […]
After watching shows like Cops, and seeing and hearing about the horrific crimes that happen on a daily basis, it’s really no wonder why many cops are such a**holes. They perform a thankless task and risk their lives day in and day out, for little recognition and the joy of driving an ugly Crown Victoria. […]
