I’m not the biggest candy fan, to be honest. I mean, obviously it’s delicious and if you hand fed me Reeses peanut butter cups I wouldn’t be like, “OH GOD, PLEASE GOD STOP THIS IS TORTUUUURE UUUGH,” but I might be like, “Um okay yeah I’ve had enough” after 2 or 3 because […]
I guess, if anything you have to appreciate the audacity and honesty of the hero in our next story. Apparently bars and dating sites just weren’t cutting it for The Phone Book bachelor, because he ventured where no man has ever gone (or wanted to go) before: the disease-covered glass wall of a New York […]
There are three things you can conclude from watching this video: 1) How lucky are we to finally live in a world where people can drop pumpkins on cars without fear of someone asking, “why the hell are you dropping a pumpkin on a car; you know there are starving children in the world, right?” […]
According to the DailyWhat, this pumpkin is supposed to look like Snooki. However, I feel like that’s a bit of an insult to the pumpkin because it doesn’t look like an alcoholic midget troll, it looks more like a classy Latina woman named Maria who wouldn’t ever refer to intercourse as “smushing” and would absolutely […]
It’s good to know you can always count on some things, like the mail, and 7-11 being open, and Charlie Sheen being a sloppy drunken mess. According to reports, Charlie Sheen was hospitalized this morning after being found naked in a trashed hotel room in New York City. Police said that Charlie was “highly intoxicated” […]
Poll time. Belly button lint: funny, gross, or a combination of the two? I don’t know about you but I lean towards super f*cking disgusting, so when I heard this story at Gawker that a man named Graham Barker had been saving his own belly button lint for the past 26 years, I basically almost […]
Whatever you do, do not let yourself end up in Chihuahua, Mexico this weekend. You can not imagine the throbbing storm that is promising to blow a huge load rainstorm all over your face car.
Have you ever noticed when you get your hair cut that the lady (or dude, I guess) who’s cutting your hair has their boobs all up in your face half the time? And sometimes you’re like, am I supposed to be avoiding staring at your lady bits when they are literally inches from my face? […]
Reason #429,301 not to leave the house: a f*cking CROCODILE might get on the plane and murder you all. So, it turns out the hilariously terrible Samuel L Jackson flick, Snakes on a Plane, was actually a CAUTIONARY tale, because apparently reptiles have absolutely no problem boarding and then wreaking havoc on airborne transports. According […]
Nothing I can contribute would top the awesomeness of this Freudian slip. So just… enjoy.
