Elderly Chinese men have the same right as you to sing rage-fueled, heart-broken girlfriend/cheating-boyfriend ballads as a part of a local news station’s Carrie Underwood themed Karaoke contest, you know. Just because he’s an elderly Chinese man who maybe senile and definitely can’t sing doesn’t mean he can’t have dreams of stardom, you know. Don’t […]
You know how sometimes you’re like, “having to walk myself through Wal Mart all the time is so hard!” and “all this regular breathing and blood pumping is a real drag!” because you’re a generally fit person who isn’t 500 pounds and can fit in most booths at restaurants? Well, your troubles are over today, […]
With San Diego’s weather finally returning to its normal August blazing inferno of death heat (85 degrees), I have started to notice that beers aren’t staying as cold as they did a couple weeks ago, when the wind and sleet was colder than Siberian temperatures (65 degrees, partly cloudy). Backyard BBQs and house party aftermaths […]
As a huge Modern Family fan, I was always mildly (inconsolably) angry when I couldn’t find a decent photo-shoot of the Colombian-born beauty that wasn’t from like, 1982, featuring French-cut bikinis that for some reason can make even the hottest bod look, well, lumpy and awkward and misshapen. So it was with very much excitement […]
Along with my affinity for a finely breaded chicken mound, as a first grader I liked boys with blond hair, playing freeze tag, and juice. I hated milk. At the ripe old age of twenty-blahblahblah, I still love the nuggets, but I’m more akin to brunette guys, bar hopping, and beer. I still hate milk. […]
Want someone’s blood-stained futon? Seriously in need of a VHS copy of Cruel Intentions? Have an intense desire an Inception themed rim job? If you answered yes to any of these questions, head on down to the Manhattan, New York Craigslist page. Browse the misspelled ads and try and steer clear of the prostitution stings […]
Here are two facts that you may not have known about me: 1) As a kid, I loved chicken McNuggets so much, I’d have eaten them morning, noon, and night, and also maybe at dusk, and at dawn, and every 15 minutes in between, because who doesn’t like battered chicken parts fried to golden perfection, […]
Rewind to a year or so back, and Brody Jenner (talent: being born to someone talented) and Jayde Nicole (talent: tits) were dating, making out in Hawaii, and looking generally hot all while dressed like normal human beings. He was drool-worthy hot in that “why do I know who you are again?” type of way. […]
Awww. Obviously Obvious News, I missed you! It’s been so long since we learned that Running with the Bulls is still dangerous. Luckily, Reuters is at it again, letting us know that subjecting yourself to ungodly heat for extended periods of time could, kill you. The world sauna championships go down every year in Finland, […]
These are the kinds of local news stories that I live for. Crazy midwestern pastor? CHECK. Tuesday morning stripper squad? CHECK. SWEET MULLET AND PORN STACHE? CHECK CHECK CHECK.
