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Food & Drink

Food & Drink

Maybe Don't Eat This Pizza

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Maybe a cream-cheese-and-honey-mustard-chicken pizza crust is acceptable in the Middle East, where people are normal sized and aren't constantly washing down their diabetes medication with a glass of mayonnaise, but please, oh Pizza Hut Gods, don't bring this overseas. We just don't have enough room anymore.
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Food & Drink

Sara Underwood Wishes You a Happy Friday

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Legacy embedded media You guys, summer is coming to a close. I feel like it was just yesterday that I was like, "WILL SUMMER EVER COME GOOD GOD," and now, POOF, we're in the second half of August and I can see the freezing death of winter on the horizon. UGHHHHH. It's Friday, though, so …
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Food & Drink

The Best Five Guys Review Ever

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Disclaimer: although I fully support the comedy in this hilarious review of Five Guys burgers by YouTuber Daym Drops, I would just like to let it be known that west coast chain In-n-Out is clearly, undeniably, unquestionably, without-a-doubt a better cheese burger than Five Guys'. In fact, it's not even fair to compare them because …
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Food & Drink

Drinking Contest Fail

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It's Friday, folks, which means one thing - the weekend is FINALLY HERE! Time to shed off those unflattering work slacks and pull on your sexy weekend club attire. Put down your paperwork and get your dance on. Drop your thirteenth cup of coffee and pick up a cocktail! What you SHOULDN'T do, though, is …
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Food & Drink

Sorry Guys But This Sauza Ad Is Just For Me

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Every day while sleepily typing this blog, I try and put myself in the mindset of the reader - what would he/she want to read about? What issues/celebrity nip-slips are they most interested in? How many videos of terrible music videos can they handle in the span of a year? However, in the case of …
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Food & Drink

Two Horrific Eating Videos

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Upon the advent of TestiMOANial Tuesday and Hump Day Hottie Wednesday, I've been feeling recently like Monday needs something bright and cheery to detract from the daily grind of icky, awful, and straight-up unbearable that I normally throw at you. Perhaps something like "Kama Sutra Monday" where we share a sex position from the historically …
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Food & Drink

The Black and Bleu Sandwich Inspired by Rihanna

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I wish it didn't look so tasty. Like a Snooki sex doll and hiding things in your vagina, chalk this one up on the BAD IDEA board. An Atlanta restaurant called Chops and Hops has just pulled a sandwich from their menu that was "inspired" by the abuse riddled relationship of Chris Brown and Rihanna. …
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Food & Drink

Kate Upton Makes Us All Want Carl's Jr.

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Real quick tangent back to yesterday's post about my Spirit Airlines/missing luggage/worst Monday morning ever incident: It should also be noted that while on a layover in Las Vegas at 7 am, I was forced to eat a WHOPPER from Burger King for breakfast. At the time, sleepy, hungover, and starving, the burger was like …
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Food & Drink

Alien Brain Hemorrhage Shot

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Because sometimes at a bar, you just want to drink something that will make you vomit twice: once while looking at it, and again the next morning. (Although we gotta admit, it looks pretty cool) According to LatinRapper.com: "To make an alien brain hemorrhage cocktail, fill a shot glass halfway with peach schnapps. Gently pour …
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Food & Drink

Which is Weirder?

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If you haven't been able to tell over the past two years of this blog, I am terrible at making decisions. I can never decide which criminal is more dumb, which video is more awesome, or which smuggling cavity is more disgusting. I always need input from you, my fantastic readers, and this Which is …
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Food & Drink

New FDA Approved Hangover Cure

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Dry mouth. Pounding head. Queasy stomach, probably related to the nacho cheese smeared across your pillow. We all have experienced those mornings where we swear we'll never drink again. Of course that promise is rarely kept, so how wonderful would it be if those miserable Sunday mornings could never happen again? I KNOW, IT SOUNDS …
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Food & Drink

NO THANK YOU: NutLiquor

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Speaking of vodka (not the up-your-cooter kind), here is another idea that warrants a hearty "NO THANK YOU": a peanut butter flavored spirit with the atrocious name "NutLiquor." The 69-proof drink, which sells in stores across America as well as online, was distilled to taste "like the center of a peanut butter cup," although it …
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Food & Drink

The Best Ad For the Best Product Ever

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After reading this clearly misogynistic, but also CLEARLY AMAZING ad for a beer glass that holds sixty ounces of beer, I wonder if I should switch professions and write cynical and bitter advertising lines. I think I'd be good at it. Examples:[An ad for a fancy tie] "This tie is not only maroon and blue, …
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Food & Drink

The Creamy Bacon Donut

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I will be headed to Las Vegas, NV in exactly 15 days to watch and report on the Manny Pacquiao vs Juan Manuel Marquez fight at the MGM Grand Hotel. Due to this forthcoming event, one might refer to my diet as "terrifying" or "probably going to kill you." But hey, if I learned anything …
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Food & Drink

Schweddy Balls Ice Cream is Real

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Ah yes, the golden age of Saturday Night Live. Before ex-members of All That turned up every skit, and women were hired (apparently) only for their looks, we had a glorious sketch parodying the awkwardness of NPR talk shows. Ana Gasteyer and Molly Shannon starred as a hilariously vested duo with awful haircuts who interviewed …
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Food & Drink

Deep Fried Gum

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How was your Labor Day? WAS IT AWESOME? I'm sorry for yelling, but as you know, I love American holidays. I may be a left-wing communist Obama-loving hippie, but give me a tiny American flag and a cheeseburger BBQ and I will shout/sing The National Anthem all night (people love when you sing the National …
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Food & Drink

50s Coffee Ads are Hilariously Abusive

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I've never really understood the hipster fashion fads of today. Everyone seems to be trying to emulate the LEAST attractive styles of the past century, like the late 80s and early 60s and the whole entire flapper era. Why would you pick the most cringe-worthy retro styles to bring back? Why not bring back the …
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Food & Drink

Deep Fried Butter

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If you'll recall, I was more than thrilled this year to find out that the San Diego County Fair was featuring a new fried treat - fried Kool-Aid. I mean, fried foods are my vice. Fried pickles, fried Oreos, fried Snickers bars, fried funnel cake.... you name it, I'll eat it. But even I was …
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Food & Drink

Miracle Whip Hosts Terrible Contest That Doesn't Make Any Sense

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HAHAHA! Because you know how sometimes you're like "I LIKE THIS KIND OF MAYONNAISE!" and then your husband is like "BUT I DON'T LIKE IT!" and then you guys hate each other and have to go through an expensive and emotionally taxing life event that can cause depression, bankruptcy, psychological turmoil and sometimes suicide? GOOD …
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Food & Drink

Girl Cries Over In-N-Out

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I was unaware of it when I woke up this morning, but apparently today is GIRLS EMBARRASSING THEMSELVES DAY in America, because everywhere I've been on the internet has featured cringe-worthy (but hilarious, obviously) videos of young women doing things that I imagine they will slap themselves for later. I mean, we started off so …
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