May I remind you that THIS THING has more memory than Chandler's, um... walking path brick... thing? Look at that thing. Now look at THIS THING. Now look at that thing. Okay now look at THIS THING. We've come a long way, baby. On a side note, I miss Friends.

They say that if you want to know what a woman is going to look like, scope out her mother. You can sometimes tell if that little bit of chub under her chin is going to eventually join her chest and become a neck bridge. Or you can tell if her boobs are going to …

I think it's time to start giving awards to movie trailers. Specifically, awards for trailers that make the movie look TOTALLY AWESOME even though you're like, 90% sure it will NOT be awesome. Or maybe it could just be an award for "best deceitful trailer for a shitty movie," or "excellence in tricking me into …

TALK ABOUT A BONER KILLER. In a blog post for Ebony, a young woman tells a story of meeting a great guy on vacation in the Bahamas, falling for him, dating for six months, and then upon bringing him to meet her parents, finding out that HE WAS HER HALF-BROTHER. We cut through the crowd …

Today is the 75th anniversary of TestiMOANial Tuesdays. Hooray, we made it! We should go out for a fancy dinner somewhere but split the bill because we are both consenting adults who don't need to abide by traditional gender roles! Just kidding. We are excited to celebrate 75 weeks of testimonials - some that made …

Today is Tuesday. Like the penny, I feel that Tuesday is a worthless, annoying extra in our week that should be done away with. We could just round to the nearest Wednesday, and everyone would be happy, and no one would have those "what day is it? OH MY GOD IT'S ONLY TUESDAY" moments. Tuesday …

Next up in our series of Douche Moves brought to you by the National Basketball Association, comes this delightful little nutshot by OKC Thunder's Serge Ibaka to poor, unsuspecting Clippers forward Blake Griffin. This move, which only earned Ibaka a flagrant but no suspension, slightly out-douches last week's entry by Will Bynum. Congratulations to everyone …

Kevin Hart hosted SNL this Saturday, and it was pretty great! Kevin Hart is actually a funny comedian instead of an obnoxious douche-bag or an obnoxious baby douche-bag. Lots of the sketches were great, like the Z-Shirt skit and REALLY?! With Seth and Kevin, but my favorite had to be the Walking Dead skit. Yes, …

UGH. WHAT HAPPENED? IT WAS FRIDAY AFTERNOON TWELVE SECONDS AGO? WHERE DID THE WEEKEND GO??!! Anyway, how was your weekend? Good? Great? Awesome? I'm guessing awesome. I bet you met a fantastic, sexy lady or gentleman and spent the weekend rollin' in the hay. Orrrr maybe you just laid on the couch watching reruns of …

How was your week? Can you believe it's already MARCH?! Almost a fourth of the way through 2013! HOW IS THIS HAPPENING? You know what, let's ignore it. Let's pretend time isn't linear and that we aren't all barreling towards death faster than we can possibly fathom, and talk about the cool/crazy/weird/sexy stuff that happened …