Sports

Sports

Every NBA Fan in 180 Seconds

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Wait, WHAT? BASKETBALL STARTED? You guys, I can't keep up with the overwhelming amount of sports happening all the time. It was just last week that the Giants were winning the World Series, and just a few days ago that the Chargers were surprisingly beating the worst team in the league. And now I have …
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The Dude Who Refused to Riot

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I forgot to mention that the Giants won the World Series this weekend. There were a few reasons I might have forgotten to mention it, like Halloween was coming up, and I was hungover, and Hurricane Sandy was on its way to make New Jersey pay for its crimes against humanity, and also I forgot …
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Someone Get Brandon McCarthy a Threesome

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I don't know who Brandon McCarthy is, mainly because I don't watch baseball, mainly because I'm not 100 years old. However, after hearing this story about the Oakland A's pitcher, I may have to start paying more attention. According to BuzzFeed, McCarthy was struck in the head by a line drive hit off Angels shortstop …
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Every NFL Fan in 90 Seconds

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With opening Sunday of the NFL season this weekend, it's important for us all to remember that despite rivalries and bad calls, despite Fantasy Football teams and the referee lockout, despite Ochocinco getting his ex's face tattooed on his leg, we are all in this together as Americans. As horrible, horrible Americans.
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Lance Armstrong Stripped of All Tour De France Wins

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And this, kids, is why you don't do drugs. According to TMZ, Lance Armstrong has officially been stripped of each of his seven Tour De France wins for allegedly using steroids during his time in the sport. The U.S. Anti-Doping Agency finally made the announcement this morning after months of deliberation, finally deciding that Armstrong …
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Usain Bolt Has His Own Strain of Weed

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I don't know if any of you have ever smoked marijuana. Have you? I mean, I haven't. Obviously, because it is against the law, and I am a law-abiding citizen who never does anything that is against the law. BUT, if I did partake in the smoking of marijuana drugs, WHICH I DON'T, I would …
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The Ultimate Olympic Diving Fail

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NBC. Home of some of my favorite shows of all time (30 Rock! Parks & Recreation! The Office back when it wasn't garbage!), and American public enemy number one during the Olympic season. There are many reasons to be upset with the way NBC has been airing the Olympics, from claims that they ignored other …
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This Olympic Rower Is... Gifted

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The internet is abuzz today with a photo of Olympic Bronze medalist, rower Henrik Rummel. In the image, which captured the US rowing team just after they received their bronze medals, Rummel appears to be excited. Like, really excited. In the pants. The crotch area of the pants. WHAT I'M SAYING IT IT LOOKS LIKE …
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Jason Kidd Got a DUI

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What a bummer day this is, huh? First we saw that abomination of a music video from Trace Cyrus, and then I accidentally stumbled upon Octomom's stripper pictures, and now I hear that Mavericks point guard (and soon-to-be NY Knick) Jason Kidd was arrested early Sunday morning for driving under the influence. According to TMZ, …
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Steve Nash is Officially a Laker

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Hope you enjoyed your win, Lebron, because it might be the last - according to ESPN.com, Phoenix Suns point guard Steve Nash has arrives in Los Angeles to play for the Lakers, a move that could "thrust the Los Angeles Lakers straight back into title contention." Despite Suns president Lon Babby calling his departure "excruciating," …
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