Best Jeopardy Answer
We like where your mind went, Kara, but um… no.
Kim Kardashian to Keep Her $2 Million Ring
“It’s a gift – you keep a gift.” – Kris Jenner “ARE YOU F***ING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?” – The World
The Worst Stripper Ever
ANNNNND my birthday is officially over. Have a nice day.
White People Covering “Get Low.”
I imagine that this is what the apocalypse sounds like. I’m going back to bed.
The Best Ad For the Best Product Ever
After reading this clearly misogynistic, but also CLEARLY AMAZING ad for a beer glass that holds sixty ounces of beer, I wonder if I should switch professions and write cynical and bitter advertising lines. I think I’d be good at it. Examples: [An ad for a fancy tie] “This tie is not only maroon […]
Snakes in an ATM
GET IT? SNAKES ON A PLANE REFERENCE! You know how jokes about movies that are 5 years old are great and always funny, right? They are always funny! HAHA! Wait what? What’s that? Am I in an oddly good mood? Uh, no! Not that I know of! I mean, it’s not like anything exciting is […]
Ghosts Have Sex Too
Before today, we would normally agree with the idea that the need for sex is a natural part of life. We’d say that repressing your desires is unhealthy both mentally and physically for human beings who are biologically pre-disposed to want some booty! However, we now realize that statement is false. It’s not a natural […]
Kim Kardashian Wants Us to “Respect her Courage”
Sometimes I think that maybe I’m being a little hard on reality stars. To be fair, I guarantee that if I were in the same situation – offered millions of dollars to act vapid and superficial, I’d probably get sucked in just as easily. However, as a person sitting on a $400 couch in a […]
Proof That Jersey Shore is Fake
Oh god. OH GOD NO. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GO ABOUT MY DAY NORMALLY WITH THIS INFORMATION? IT’S LIKE IF A SCHOOL COUNSELOR CAME IN DURING STORY TIME IN KINDERGARTEN AND SAID “YOUR MOM’S DEAD, BUT FINISH THAT MACARONI PICTURE.” I am shattered. TORN, even. Heartbroken. And now I’m supposed to write for the […]
Liking Nickleback Will Not Get You Laid
In what could be the most Obviously Obvious News of the decade, Tastebuds.fm has released a list of “musical turnoffs” that men and women claim are dating dealbreakers, and Nickleback – reigning kings of douchebaggery, top the list. Via Jezebel: The dating site Tastebuds.fm 1,600 users for their biggest “musical turnoff.” Nickelback led the pack, […]