Uh oh. The US unemployment rate is about to take another dip, guys, because the “Tiger Woods Peen-Sucker and Tabloid Fodder” committee, which has for the past 6 years employed 80 to 90% of the country’s ho-hos is gonna have lay off all its employees. That’s right, girls*, you’ll have to find another […]
Discovery Channel’s show “Strange Sex” is one of those shows that you don’t want to to watch, and have no intention of watching, until you’re flipping through the digital cable menu and there it is, nestled in between QVC’s Ode to Sequins and a Two and a Half Men marathon. And since you already have […]
So everyone, how was your weekend? Did you go to the drive-in or get a sweet in-pool beer pong table? Did you have delicious fish tacos accompanied by frosty cold beer or margaritas or grain alcohol? Did you see some friends from out of town or visit with your fam- OKAY OKAY I DON’T […]
Welcome back to this week’s edition of The Three Things You Have to Do This Weekend. This week: Super F—ing Hot Outside edition. Expect your activities to be a feeble attempt at forgetting that we’re all currently living inside my mother’s rice cooker. 1) Pool-Pong Assuming you don’t live in my labor camp of an […]
I’ve never really understood Cosmo’s approach to sex advice. Cracked once featured an article showing some of the weird, creepy, and sometimes horrifically dangerous tips the ladies mag dishes out, including (but not limited to ) biting your dude’s SCROTUM, to give you an idea. So when Gizmodo recently revealed that Cosmo had created a […]
Remember a couple weeks ago when Snooki (UGH already) was arrested on the beach for looking, sounding, and smelling like the walking Black Plague of Jaeger Shots? According to the AP, Prosecutors said at a hearing Wednesday that they will add the charge of annoying people on a beach to the two others the MTV […]
You know when you’re in your car, and all of a sudden you realize there is a bee on the inside of the windshield, except it’s not a bee in your head, it’s like a great white shark sitting in your passenger seat being like, “sup bro I’m ’bout to eat you” and all […]
Summer has arrived on the scene in San Diego (thank god, finally, WTF nature thanks for being punctual) and we’re remembering how awesome it can really be. At the same time, it gives us an excuse to enjoy work because at least we’re inside out of the blazing hot miserable death sun for a few […]
OBC has been saying “You don’t have to promise marriage just to get a date” for years, shouting it from the rooftops, car windows, and public bathroom toilets in Barstow, CA (sidenote: don’t ever go to Barstow, California). And yet, for some reason, everyone construed it as us preaching dirty, offensive filth that would […]
Let this be a warning: Always ask yourself, is this really a photo I’d be okay with the entire universe seeing? Because whether there be a suspicious looking gadget, blatant proof that you shouldn’t have procreated, or a major example of TMI, SOMEONE from lamebook will find it, save it, and keep it for the […]
