Quite Possibly the Best Typo on Twitter Ever
ABC 7 News later redacted and corrected the error, not that it matters. TRIPLE CHECK YOUR TWEETS, ABC!
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Headlines
Is Ben and Jerry's Linsanity Ice Cream Racist?
Well, it looks like Ben and Jerry's ice cream company has decided to jump on the recent racism trend that has exploded since the success of Knicks star Jeremy Lin. According to Gothamist, the Vermont-based company created a new flavor of ice cream called "Taste the Lin-sanity," which in it's first batch included PIECES OF …
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Kate Upton is The Sports Illustrated Cover Model
It was finally revealed last night on David Letterman's Late Show that Kate Upton, last year's "Rookie of the Year," would take the illustrious role of this year's Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition cover model. The highly coveted spot, which has before been held by the likes of Christie Brinkley, Irina Shayk, and Beyonce, will be …
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Dumb Criminal Alert:Man Ties Up Daughter on Facebook
I don't have kids, but I do have two younger brothers, so I know how absolutely unbearable children can be at times. Sometimes you just want to drive them out to the desert and leave them there while you take a g*ddamn shower in peace without them knocking on the door because they want you …
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Mythbusters Cannonball Shot into Neighborhood
Never before hath a Mythbuster experiment induced so many "OH SH*T"s. Next Myth: will the Mythbusters be able to keep their jobs after almost maiming like, 40 people?
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The Best Headline Ever
All hyperbole aside, this is a great headline. I can't be sure if it beats out this headline, or even if it's better than this confusing-as-hell gem. But, falling in the ranks of Apple's innuendo-full knee slapper comes a headline from a Filipino newspaper in California. The question is... disgruntled young intern, or oblivious old …
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Non-Stop Strip Poker
Now this sounds like a game I want to be a part of! According to Gothamist, on Saturday the Art in General Gallery in New York City began a week-long, non-stop strip poker game. According to the article, Each day for a week, from 10:30 a.m. to 6:00 p.m., seven players will gather around a …
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Man Kills Wife for Breaking His Star Wars Toys
You know, I think it's kinda cool when grown men have silly hobbies, like painting miniatures, or reading comic books, or collecting Star Wars memorabilia. It shows that they have a playful side, and that they don't take themselves too seriously. The key words in that sentence are "silly," "hobbies," and "don't take themselves too …
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R.I.P Steve Jobs
As I sit here typing on a PC, checking my Android for texts, and playing music on my iPod,I realize that I'm kind of a technology traitor. Well, no... that's not true. I just don't really care one way or another about brands of things as long as they do what I want them to …
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Man Writes Book About Sex With a Dolphin
Not JUST sex with a dolphin, but a nine-month "intimate relationship" with it. Yep. Put your frosted flakes down, because it gets worse. According to Flash News, 58-year-old Malcolm Brenner is claiming that in 1971 he carried out a relationship with Ruby, a dolphin in captivity at a Florida amusement park (ah yes, the most …
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Woman Kills Husband, Buries Him in Hog Pen
I always feel bad when I'm writing a snarky anti-marriage article and it comes to my attention that there are allegations of abuse in the story. Whether or not I think marriage is a death trap has nothing to do with domestic abuse being completely horrific for anyone in the situation, especially when there are …
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Natural Disaster or Heaven?
So, I don't know if you heard, and I'm fairly positive that if you aren't in California then you didn't hear, but yesterday San Diego County was affected by a 15 hour blackout that left 3 million + customers without power from about 3:30pm until the wee hours of the night.For someone who never expects …
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Man Decapitates Himself Over Argument With Ex-Wife
Do we even need to be arguing our stance anymore? We've learned that kidnapping is more likely to happen by a close relative or friend than a complete stranger, and that you're safer in an airplane than a vehicle, can we also now accept the fact that you're most likely to be driven insane by …
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Man Arrested for Driving, Drinking a Beer, and Having Sex at the Same time
59-year-old George Howard is a Kentucky man of many skills. Multi-tasking, though, apparently isn't one of them. According to The Smoking Gun, he was arrested this morning when officers pulled him over for hitting a curb, and realized that he was driving, drinking a beer, and having sex all at the same time.Now to be …
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Husband Tries to Kill Wife By Driving Truck Through Waffle House
Now this is a slightly more pleasant case against marriage than our last post - according to the NewsHerald, a Florida man (oh hooray! The Floridian Freaks are out again!) is being charged with attempted murder and felony criminal mischief for driving through the wall of a Waffle House restaurant where his wife was working …
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Woman Lets a 6-Year-Old Drive
Remember like, less than three days ago when I told you I hadn't seen a really decent dumb criminal story in a long time and I thought maybe they were slowly Darwin-ing themselves out of the world? Well, turns out the dummies are SURVIVING, because I just learned that a woman in Pennsylvania is accused …
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Fox News Calls Obama's Birthday a 'Hip-Hop BBQ'
(Apparently this is People-Are-Racist Day. Sorry. I don't plan these things.)In "Fox News is Still A Racist and Pathetic Excuse for a Journalism Outlet" news, a recent headline by the "fair-and-balanced" website called President Obama's 50th birthday party a "Hip Hop BBQ," despite there actually being only one rapper there. According to Gawker, the actual …
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Rupert Murdoch Got a Pie to the Face
Embedded media Have you been following the current Rupert Murdoch/News Corp scandal? Yeah, me neither. It's like "aw boo hoo, some sickeningly rich dude might be slightly less sickeningly rich soon, WHAT EVER SHALL I DO?" However, after the video above, which shows some valiant citizen smashing a pie into Murdoch's face in the middle …
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Owner of Killer Bear Chokes To Death on Sex Toy
There are great headlines, and there are awesome headlines. And although the above headline is unfortunate in that it announces a human being's death, I'm sure if the situation were reversed he'd be laughing at this too: I mean, come on, right? That is HILARIOUS. The story itself, doesn't get any more normal - according …
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Woman Accused of Cutting Husband's Penis Off
Gentleman, brace your junk - according to a report by Reuters, a California woman has been accused of drugging her estranged husband, chopping off his penis, and sticking it in the garbage disposal. Catherine Kieu Becker, 48, then called 911, and told police her husband "deserved it."According to Becker's husband, he went to lay down …
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