Celebrities

Just when I thought there was no possible way I hadn't heard every disgusting sex metaphor in The Book Of Disgusting Sex Metaphors, the human-like parasites of the Jersey Shore stumble drunkenly in and explain how wrong I really am. In a recent episode, Snooki was overheard comparing her and Vinny's awkwardly propositioned sex to …

In your every day, average court room, a divorce settlement is rocky, emotional, and stressful. Dividing assets and custody of children and pets can take a severe toll on ones psyche. However, in the world of multi-million dollar (and sometimes billion dollar) marriages, the divorce settlements reach national headlines. Like, say you just happened to …

As much as I hate daytime feel-goodery talk shows, sometimes I think maybe I should just make it my second job to show up to them because people are always getting free sh-t just for showing up, sitting in a chair, and pretending to care when Tyra starts talking about women with two vaginas or …

In more Celebrities Being D*cks news, Owen Wilson is peeing on a golf course, because when you're an insanely successful movie actor the world is not just your oyster, but also your toilet. The cuter brother would NEVER do this.

Let's me preface this rant by saying I love meat. I eat just about every animal out there, and would probably wear leather if it didn't look so god-awful on me. That being said, COME ON, LADY GAGA. THIS IS GETTING OUT OF HAND. Lady Gaga won 8 awards at the VMAs last night, all …

It was only a matter of time before the gorgeous, busty sex-tape star and Carl's Jr. spokeswoman Kim Kardashian got her own sex doll. In fact, considering she's been popular since 2006, AND already has a wax figure at Madame Tussauds, I'm surprised it's taken this long to create a latex doppleganger for use by …

First off-- we don't personally have a huge problem with Mr. Francis. I mean, no one seems to have a problem with FemSkin, or sexing up toddlers, or the Brazzers franchise (super NSFW, duhh), and each of these businesses do nothing to further the female plight in life. Joe Francis took a worldwide affinity for …

So, so many things. A) Those boots make so much sense. She's an Eskimo, you guys. So all that time we were making fun of her height/weight/face/life, she's been trying to survive the winter in her igloo full of Bump-Its and P'zones. B) What you don't know is that she's hiding a well worn copy …

You might know Tila Tequila from her MySpace fame-whore days, or her "Shot at Love" fame-whore days, or her "Shawne Merriman beat me up" fame whore days (which is totally ridiculous because Merriman is a gentleman and a scholar and is going take the Chargers to the Super Bowl this year, guaranteed). And now it …

As a huge Modern Family fan, I was always mildly (inconsolably) angry when I couldn't find a decent photo-shoot of the Colombian-born beauty that wasn't from like, 1982, featuring French-cut bikinis that for some reason can make even the hottest bod look, well, lumpy and awkward and misshapen. So it was with very much excitement …