Hey guys! How was your Fourth of July? Was it totally awesome in a celebration-of-our-Independence type of way? Assuming you followed my Fourth of July mandates, it most certainly was as American as apple pie and Jack Daniels. In un-American news, the World Cup is still happening, and people still care about it. There are […]
Everyone knows that Fourth of July isn’t complete unless someone blows off a finger. Check the chart below to see your state’s stance on the general public being allowed to hold explosive devices after 17 beers. PS– I don’t know what “safe and sane” fireworks they’re talking about, but you can’t even find a decent […]
Not that I’ve ever actually seen a Girls Gone Wild tape, because that would be extremely unladylike because those videos are misogynistic, but if I HAD seen one I would tell you that they are poorly edited and look like they were produced by a 45 year old dyslexic guy in his mom’s basement. I’m […]
Hey BCU readers! Let’s play a little game of trivia, shall we? It’s going to be SO FUN and also VERY EDUCATIONAL. I’m going to say an amount of money, and you guess who is about to receive said amount of money! Easy peasey! The amount is… 750 million dollars. And your options are, a) […]
This morning, Brazil was shockingly knocked out of the World Cup by the Netherlands, after a 68th minute header by Wesley Sneijder. Our favorite player of the match, though, was Felipe Melo, for being a huge douche — not only did he assist the Netherlands with an own goal, but then he STOMPED (seriously, stomped) […]
If you’d asked me as a kid what the world would be like in 2010, I’d have been like, “watch that documentary the Jetsons. It explains everything.” Fast forward 15 years and here I sit, and my computer still isn’t a hologram and I don’t have a robot maid and my car still drives on […]
Reason #2,795 to not get married: Sometimes when you try to install your TV with a shotgun (obviously) your dumb wife gets in the way and you shoot her instead. Now you’re in trouble and your TV isn’t even set up.
I don’t know about you, but whenever I’m in the kitchen making some grub, all I can think is how funny it would be to stick together random food items so that they look like people and then make said people do the nasty and then take pictures and turn it into a .gif file. […]
You guys. YOU GUYS. This is really important. Shut up. We have to change allegiances. I love the US of A (re: previous post) but right now, we all need to take one for the team and start cheering for Paraguay. I don’t care where your loyalties actually lie (better be America, patriot), we have […]
If my Googling is correct (I don’t do math), Sunday marks the 234th Independence Day of our nation. We broke free from the shackles of unfair taxation and fancy-pants accents and said, NO THANK YOU to the letter U getting all up in certain words. That was 1776, a time of wooden teeth and pooping […]
