This morning, Brazil was shockingly knocked out of the World Cup by the Netherlands, after a 68th minute header by Wesley Sneijder. Our favorite player of the match, though, was Felipe Melo, for being a huge douche — not only did he assist the Netherlands with an own goal, but then he STOMPED (seriously, stomped) […]
If you’d asked me as a kid what the world would be like in 2010, I’d have been like, “watch that documentary the Jetsons. It explains everything.” Fast forward 15 years and here I sit, and my computer still isn’t a hologram and I don’t have a robot maid and my car still drives on […]
Reason #2,795 to not get married: Sometimes when you try to install your TV with a shotgun (obviously) your dumb wife gets in the way and you shoot her instead. Now you’re in trouble and your TV isn’t even set up.
I don’t know about you, but whenever I’m in the kitchen making some grub, all I can think is how funny it would be to stick together random food items so that they look like people and then make said people do the nasty and then take pictures and turn it into a .gif file. […]
You guys. YOU GUYS. This is really important. Shut up. We have to change allegiances. I love the US of A (re: previous post) but right now, we all need to take one for the team and start cheering for Paraguay. I don’t care where your loyalties actually lie (better be America, patriot), we have […]
If my Googling is correct (I don’t do math), Sunday marks the 234th Independence Day of our nation. We broke free from the shackles of unfair taxation and fancy-pants accents and said, NO THANK YOU to the letter U getting all up in certain words. That was 1776, a time of wooden teeth and pooping […]
A few weeks ago BCU reported on the news that English World Cup team was forbidden from hooking up with their WAGs (wives and girlfriends) due to debaucherous partying and distracting behaviors in 2006. It gave us at BCU the impression that maybe these ladies are a little bit… well, inconsiderate, perhaps. Then we looked […]
When I had my first crush at 16 (I was a late bloomer who turned into a beautiful flower), I remember that he wore Old Spice cologne. And I thought it was so George Clooney of him. Like, so totally mature and OH EM GEE KATIE HE IS SO SOPHISTICATED. And now, a whole 6 […]
You can buy some weird-ass junk on eBay these days. 1980s Mariah Carey tapes, someone’s bloody mattress, or even Sharon Osbourne’s breast implants. You know, just in case you’re an avid collector of menopausal wife-of-a-rock-star celebrity plastic surgery accessories, it’s really a priceless set. However, eBay has recently acquired some totally rad new merch. In fact, […]
Yesterday marked the 70th day of the Gulf of Mexico oil spill. With each day that passes, more animals are killed, more ecosystems are destroyed, more Americans are losing jobs in the seafood industry. 5,000 (WTF) barrels of oil a day are pumped into ocean, like some someone popped the cork off a bottle of […]
