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Kate Upton Has Very Specific Male Grooming Standards

GOOD MORNING! How are you this Monday morning? Battling a Game of Thrones premiere-related hangover? Still have the taste of red wine and lamb on your tongue? Wondering if maybe you should have foregone those last twelve "Mother or Dragons" shots? Not me. I feel great. Like I could run a marathon, if said marathon …
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NO THANK YOU: Bacon Flavored Condoms

We're all for safe sex in all it's forms. Whether you practice abstinence (no thank you), use condoms (you should ALWAYS use condoms), or use birth control and a diaphragm (do those even exist anymore?), we say GO YOU. Way to keep your body and your partner's body healthy and safe. However, there are certain …
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Don't Have Sex on a McDonald's Bathroom Floor

We've talked before, MANY TIMES, about the thrill and sexiness of a little public nookie. Sometimes, it's a good idea, and sometimes, it's a very bad idea in the very worst possible way. However, in all cases we imagine the main two reasons people love public sex is because A) they're horny and don't want …
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HAPPY FRIDAY!

How was your week? Good? Eh? So-so? Asi asi? Comme ci, comme ca (FRENCH!)? Or horrifically disastrous in every possible way that makes you want to crawl under the covers until summer? For me it was the latter. Sometimes even the best of us have weeks that make us go, "huh?" Or more realistically, "WHAT …
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James Franco Turned Down Lindsay Lohan For a Booty Call

photo via US Magazine As a famous, busty, once-beautiful actress, it's probably pretty easy to get laid. Even if you've lost some of your sex appeal, there will always be someone willing to shut their eyes and give it to you, even if they're just doing it for the chance of a free dinner or …
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IT'S JEOPARDY!

Let's play a little morning game of Jeopardy, shall we? I will give you an "answer," and then you can choose the "question!" Ready? Alright, here's the answer: "An outdated fad that, when seen in public or on the Internet, is scoffed at with an eye roll and an immediate desire to plug ones ears, …
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Hump Day Hottie: Halle Berry

After seeing Jenna Jameson's um... interesting new look this week, we needed a taste of a sexy older woman who DOESN'T LOOK LIKE A lizard that has spent the last three decades under a heat lamp. Luckily, these photos of the eternally sexy Halle Berry showed up in our news feed this morning that said …
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John Hamm Wants People to Stop Talking About His Huge Penis

John Hamm, AKA Don Draper on the hit show Mad Men, has been all over the tabloids recently for the mere fact that he doesn't wear underwear and thusly, his GIGANTIC MONSTER PENIS is on full display. See here and here for reference. His junk is so powerful, in fact, that rumors are swirling that …
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Happy Wednesday!

I really wish there was some metaphor I could use right now to compare Wednesdays to this video. Like, "Wednesdays are the point of no return, like when you try and do the helicopter trick and get stuck between the railings and there's nothing you can do about it," but really this video needs no …
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Jared Leto Says a Fan Sent Him a Severed Ear

I always think it's rude when people judge others' musical tastes. Whether you love country, hip-hop, pop, electronic, rock, folk, or acoustic jams, there is no reason to believe that any one is any more enjoyable than the other. That's the DEFINITION of taste. And the ability to make music that appeals to human senses …
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