I have come to the conclusion after twenty-something years on this earth that penises are about as varied as jelly beans (jelly beans? What? Where did that come from? I am leaving that there just to shame myself). It doesn’t matter if the person has big feet or is really tall or very short or […]
Not only is “chronic masturbation syndrome” a thing, but according to the bank robber above, he suffers from it and believes that the jail he is serving time in should be required to let him have pornography in his cell to soothe it. Oh, and video games and a personal television set. 21-year-old Kyle […]
Are fireworks legal in your state? They aren’t legal in California. So obviously, I definitely didn’t illegally obtain hundreds of dollars worth of weapons-grade explosives last weekend, and I definitely didn’t sneak into a park last night to light them off, because that is illegal, you know? So I definitely didn’t do that. Especially because […]
You know how they say if you divide by zero the universe will implode? The above picture is a snapshot of the the cover of an album set to release in August called Watch the Throne. It is a collaboration rap album made by two of the (if not THE) biggest rappers of our generation, […]
From our home to yours, the OBC family wishes you a very happy Independence Day, full of fun, sun, maybe that girl up there if you’re really lucky, and of course BOOTY!
Maria Shriver has officially filed for divorce. And another one bites the dust. [Dlisted] Tara Reid is still lookin’ like a class act. In case you had ANY doubts about that. [TheSuperficial] Lindsay Lohan turned 25 today. Or was it 85? I don’t remember. [Celebuzz] Amber Rose is the latest in hot celebrity nude pics. […]
Ah, the wonderful Fourth of July. One of my favorite holidays of the year because it’s all about being Amurikan. Grocery stores stack all their beer into pretty flag shapes and girls get into their skimpiest red white and blue bikinis. IT’S PATRIOTIC, I SAY! So, in honor of the holiday that results in the […]
CURSES, I TELL YOU! CURSES ON THE FOOL WHO CENSORED WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN THE MOST GLORIOUS VIDEO OF ALL TIME! HOW DAREST THOU COVER THE LADY BITS OF ONE OF THE FINEST-ASS WOMEN IN AMERICA, NAY, THE WORLD! YOU SHALL BE PUT TO DEATH AT THE STAKE, BUT NOT BEFORETH I SLAP YOU IN […]
I am going to provide this story word-for-word, with no paraphrasing, because it is just too funny to tamper with: “A man wearing only a rain coat was taken into police custody after a garage burglary and sexual encounter on Sunday. The Jefferson County Sheriff’s Department said the man and a woman were in the […]
Oh man. You’d think that Friday morning would be one of those carefree, easy-peasy moments where you hear music with every step and say “hoo-wee, TGIF, eh?” to people in the elevator even when you normally don’t even make eye-contact with people in the elevator. Sometimes though, like say, this Friday in particular, the moments […]
