It’s the weekend after Halloween, I know, and you might feel like you exerted all your partying muscles last week, but by all the power that is vested in birthday-week-me, I demand that you make this weekend awesome, in honor of yours truly. So in honor of ME, and because there’s a heat […]
In response to the many ads and billboards and witch-senate-candidates around the country currently protesting masturbation, I give you this hilarious video of a walrus furiously yanking it at an aquarium. This is proof that all animals have to occasionally service themselves. You’ll notice that this is video is titled “Walrus Masturbation 5,” and in […]
Irony (n): an outcome of events contrary to what was, or might have been, expected, or the incongruity of this. So the question is, is a guy in a breathalyzer suit, on Halloween, getting pulled over and arrested for a DUI irony? Or is it a coincidence? Or was it perhaps fate? To be fair, […]
Reason #456,209 to stay single: your wife might just be marrying you to get a free nose/boob/chin/armpit job. img@ nydailynews Yes, that’s right, the always-classy E! Channel’s monstrosity of a reality show, “Bridalplasty,” is finally here. The show’s premise is simple (and yet almost alarmingly repulsive): soon-to-be brides compete in various stunts like writing vows […]
It was recently learned that certain human beings are actually genetically predisposed to seek thrill. Research has shown that their brain’s propensity for the effects of dopamine is much higher, which is why they enjoy bungee jumping and sky-diving and swimming with murderous-dinosaur-dragons sharks more than the rest of us. Usually, I envy them. I […]
I know that sometimes BCU comes off as immature. Like maybe our office is populated with 12 year old boys taking turns writing articles while farting on each other and having their first erections. But not today. Today is a serious day about important, scientific developments that could potentially give us a glimpse into our […]
I recently watched an hour long documentary about the porn business, and how professional porn stars are losing money and their jobs because of the proliferation of amateur sex sites and free pornography on the internet (interesting note: it’s hard to feel bad for someone when you’ve seen a whole soda bottle come out of […]
TheUglyBugBall.com* is a dating site for people who wake up every day, look in the mirror, and recoil in horror, but still think that they deserve love as much as anyone else. Which… I guess… is a good trait? The British site, created to help the “aesthetically challenged” find love, has just excitedly reported the […]
I suppose there comes a time in every weirdo’s life where they realize, hey, I’m weird, and no one is ever going to accept my weirdness so I guess I might as well just take the crazy train to Nutsville. I imagine that’s why hoarding and Real Girls and Second Life exist, and that would […]
Thanks to this sign, you can count on me yelling, “HEY, DON’T LEAVE THE POOR GUY WITH BLUE BALLS, YOU JERK” every time someone forgets to turn off a light. We’ll see how quickly I lose all my friends.
