Man Finds Jesus on Tortilla
Legacy embedded media Well, the best 23 seconds of our day have just happened. It's all downhill from here, folks.
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WTF
The Baby Eagle Snatch Video Heard Round the World
There are many benefits to living in Southern California. For example, this. Also, this, this, and these. However, being three hours behind the east coast means we wake up to a lot of things that have been going on for basically EVER in internet time. Whether it's concert tickets going on sale or finding out …
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Yoko Ono Covers Firework by Katy Perry
Recently I was reading in Time Magazine (impressive, I know) that Yoko Ono, widow of John Lennon, has a fashion line that could only be described as "confusing," or perhaps "utterly terrible", especially considering she attached John Lennon's name to it BECAUSE SHE IS A HORRIBLE, EVIL, BEATLES-RUINING BITCH in a move that would certainly …
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The Sexxtons - A Mother Daughter Porn Duo
Grab your barf bags and gather 'round, young ones, it's time for a story to ruin your lunch! In our most recent chapter of RIP IT OFF: A Comprehensive List Detailing Why Florida Should Be Yanked Off Like America's Hangnail, we have a mother daughter duo, Monica and Jessica. Monica and Jessica like doing your …
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Just Kidding.
I MEAN, COME ON. COME. ON. For more holiday-themed catastrophes, see here and here.
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Someone Named Their Baby Hashtag
It's lunchtime at the OBC offices, so unwrap that PB&J, dump out those Fritos, and pop that Capri Sun baggie. It's time for a round of "OKAY, MAYBE THE MAYANS WERE RIGHT, THE WORLD IS ENDING NEXT MONTH." The adorable picture above is a baby that was born recently, apparently to 14 year olds, because …
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BUTT IMPLANT VIDEO FROM YOUR NIGHTMARES
I'm really sorry to do this to you so early in the morning, but sometimes you need a good jolt to the nervous system to get you out of your morning haze. This is certainly that jolt. I'd advise putting down your hot coffee before watching this. Legacy embedded media Yep, that's exactly what it …
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Extreme Cougar Wives
Oh. My. God. OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD. Look, okay, I GET that older people have sex. That's A-OKAY with me. A large majority of our ex-members who have shared their testiMOANials have been older women, …
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Ad For Egyptian Energy Bars: Awful or Awesome?
Well, Thanksgiving is over. How was yours? Did you put back on the 10 pounds you've been working so hard to keep off for the past 5 months? In the span of like, 4 days? And now the holiday is over but thinking about working out and eating healthy again sounds like a miserable hellscape …
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Reason 438 Not to Get Married
There were a lot of people upset that Barack Obama won the election last week, thus ensuring another four years with a Democrat as Commander in Chief. Fine, whatever, it was expected. Especially for people who believe he is a Kenyan Muslim who wants to take away everyone's guns and let men marry Popsicle sticks …
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Pat Robertson Doesn't Get Fifty Shades of Grey, Also Thinks Porn is "Boring"
Nothing says Friday like a heaping spoonful of Pat Robertson, that's what I always say. The 400-year-old beacon of compassionate, not-at-all-unstable Christianity is ALWAYS a treat. Once again, just as he did in the famous "macaroni and cheese is a black thing" video, Patsy is here with some comments that make you feel as awkward …
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Good Morning From the Creepiest Thing Ever
Don't say I didn't warn you. Because I'm warning you right now - this is something that might ruin your day. You might spend the next few hours trying to work, but your brain just can't take its focus off the horrible, unsavory, nightmarish video that you watched on your iPad in bed this morning. …
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Is It Racist? Hang in There Obama Sign
It seems like, for the most part, peoples' resounding answer to our "Is It Racist?" posts is "NO." They think (and fair enough, everyone is entitled to their own opinions) that we're being overly sensitive, and that not everything has to be a race issue. For example, most of you said "NOPE" when we asked …
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Wednesday Morning Gross Out
If you haven't noticed, times have been tougher than usual for many in the United States. Everyday I thank my lucky stars that I have a job, let alone one that I love. And I'm still not immune to economic worry. I save as much as possible and try not to splurge very often and …
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Happy Friday From a Bus Driver Punching a Teenage Girl in the Face
We all know teenagers are the worst. They think they know everything, are usually rude and moody, and smell like a combination of BO and way too much cheap cologne. It is difficult when around teenagers not to give in to your very real desire to just punch them in the face. Luckily, because of …
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What IS His Secret?
GOD, I wish I wasn't just a toddler in the eighties. Apparently I missed out the best decade of all time. Jazzercise, cocaine, neon leggings in every color under the sun, The A-Team, and of course some of the best hair of any time period in the history of these United States. And that's just …
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No Thank You: Tee of Life
We're back for another edition of No Thank You, the (very rare) installment where we discuss products currently on the market that are either unbelievably useless or totally gross, or both, and say NO THANK YOU. Like, for example, no THANK you, Ugg wedding boots. And also, thank you, but NO THANK YOU, pajama jeans …
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Your WTF Infomercial of the Year
Okay, so maybe I haven't exactly been on a search for the worst infomercial of the year. Maybe the only other infomercial I've even taken notice of this year was for Vince "I bite hookers" Schlomi and his "Schticky" back in January. But either way, it doesn't matter. I didn't need to see any other …
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This Looner Might Be a Little Loony.
WAKE UP! SOMETHIN SOMETHIN SOMETHIN SOMETHIN MAKEUP! I DON'T KNOW THE NEXT WORDS SHAKEUP(??) blah blah blah blah shakeup! ... okay. I'm sorry guys. I'm sorry, 90s band System of a Down. That was not a good start to a morning blog post. Let's turn a new page, shall we? Everyone (you too, System of …
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Speaking of Butts... NSFW
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON'T DO THIS TO YOURS. Other possible titles for this video: - Meth, Not Even Once - Her Dad Must Be So Proud - Nothing Says Love Like A Tattooed Butt Hole - "It Feels Really, Really Good" - The Story of the World's Biggest Liar
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