“Have Sex With a Guy With a Mustache” Day is Tomorrow
What is the deal with our glorification of mustaches these days?
Four Loko’s On the Chopping Block
Assuming that you’re not a NWO-fearing cabin dweller, you’ve probably heard of the drink Four Loko. But if you haven’t, let me give you the run down: Four Loko is a caffeine infused alcoholic beverage, said to have the strength of three cups of coffee and three beers, all in one 23.5 ounce, $2.50 can, […]
Which Video is More Awesome?
Little did I know that today was going to be full of tough decisions. Wake up and hit the gym or sleep for an extra hour (sleep)? Oatmeal or frosted flakes for breakfast (frosted flakes)? Whether to stop and get gas or risk it on empty (risk it, duh)? And now I come to work […]
COUGAR CRUISE IS BACK!
It’s that time of year again when the most joyous of celebrations falls upon us. When love and happiness and appreciation for our fellow man is at its highest: yes, you heard me, ITS COUGAR CRUISE TIME. Hosted by the Singles Travel Company and The Society of Single Professionals, the cruise is set to depart […]
Penis Tattoo Revenge
People express their anger in many ways. Some take constructive direction and paint, or play music, or write in a journal. Others throw chairs at each other at a 24-hour breakfast restaurant. However, I think we can say that this is the first time a person expressed their irritation at another human being by PERMANENTLY […]
Michael Vick Redeems Himself (And More)
In general, I am repulsed by the word “EPIC.” Once only used by surfers describing their barrel-riding skills, it has become an overused, overplayed, meaningless term used on the internet to describe cats jumping in boxes and kids lighting themselves on fire. However, that being said, Vick’s performance last night was, in a word, EPIC. […]
Halloween Brawl at Denny’s
Halloween is a time to let loose, we all know that. Ladies wear hooker outfits and guys get so drunk that they can’t stand, let alone get on some of that hooker tang. Or at least, this is how I picture Halloween. But apparently, this year in East Oakland, they took the “let loose” to […]
Bill Clinton is in the Hangover 2
You read right: the former president of the United States, best known for retaining a surplus in the budget, having an extremely high approval rating, and supporting gays serving openly in the military getting a blowjob from a fat intern, is going to be in the sequel to the Hangover. According to People, “Clinton, who’ll […]
Sexy Posters at the Polish Polls
It’s when I hear news like this that I get very sad that we live in the world’s most obese country. And that an overwhelming majority of our politicians are bloated, balding, 65 year old white men. According to news reports, Polish singer Sara May (AKA Katarzyna Szczolek) is running for office in Warsaw, and […]
You Look Like Sh*t
“The most over-used line in cinema” or not, I will be yelling this at everyone I pass today. Happy Monday, everyone, you look like sh*t!